Plan what to say

My conversation card

With
My manager
What I want
A fair conversation about my salary.
Opening line
Can we talk about something that has been on my mind?
Main point
Over the past year I have taken on the launch work, and I would like to discuss my pay.
They might say
The budget is tight this year.
I can reply
I understand. What would it take to revisit this in three months?
If I need a pause
Let me think about that and come back to you.

Private by design: what you type stays in this browser tab. It is not saved or sent anywhere, and it disappears when you close the page.

How to use your card

  1. Fill in what you can. The grey examples show the idea. Your words appear on the card as you type.
  2. Say it out loud three times. The first time feels clunky. By the third, you will hear which words sound like you.
  3. Bring the card. Copy it to your notes or print it. You do not have to read from it; having it helps.

For examples of asking for a raise, setting a boundary and apologizing, read our guide on how to practice a difficult conversation out loud.

Before you start

Nerves are normal before a hard conversation. A minute with the breathing timer can help you start steady, and the feelings wheel can help you name what you want the other person to understand.

If a conversation involves your safety, for example with someone who frightens you, please do not plan it alone. Reach out to a local support service or someone you trust. Our safety page lists where to start.